Left Alone

I found this archived in my laptop. This was written on November 9, 2010 03:33PM.

People always say that it is harder to bring back friendship lost than to build up new ones. I have not given much thought about resurrecting relationships.  Links don’t break unless pulled.  I have built friendship with a lot of people.  I have maintained contact with the people important enough to be kept and let lose the people I don’t care much about.

Losing a loved one makes me reconsider my beliefs about relationship. I recently felt the urge to reconnect with friends I have not seen in years. At one point in my life, they were the only people I see, the only relationship I have and the only life I lived. When we separated, I thought an era ended and I have to welcome a new one. I don’t feel pain from losing them but I want to relive the life I spent with them. Because in that lifetime, I was complete. Now that I am broken, I want to channel my past self, scarred but not shattered. Maybe being with them would help me feel young again. Protected. Loved. Cared.

I rarely prayed but when I do, I feel everything. The searing pain of losing everything. The empty happiness of gaining some. I want to think I am thankful for what I have now but I don’t want to lie. I want to say I would exchange what I have now for what I have lost but I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I am relieved I don’t have the responsibilities I would have if my parents were alive. But I can’t deny how much I missed them. I dream about how I would have spent Christmas if they were still with me. Would have I chosen to be alone like what I have done for the past years? I cry whenever I remember them. I cry because I have nothing left to remember them by but a few pictures. The house we once considered home isn’t mine. It has been years since I’ve seen the inside of my home. My home was left rotting just like my parents. I don’t have the courage to visit my home. I am afraid to see how empty and damaged it has been. I once dreamt of coming home, with both of them waiting for me. A hot delicious meal eaten in front of the TV. They asked about work and I got annoyed because they won’t leave me alone. The truth is, I would rather be annoyed than what I am now. Left alone.

Today is my father’s 4^th year death anniversary.

2nd explosion at Japanese nuclear plant

I received a text message earlier about the explosion in Japan. The message says:

"PAALALA:4:30 in the afternoon sumabog yung isang nuclear power plant sa Fukumi, Japan. Kpag umulan daw mamaya at bukas, wala daw lalabas. Kung nasa labas kayo, siguraduhin nyong nkaraincoat or nakapayong kayo dahil kapag naulanan kayo, delikado daw, may tendency na masunog skin nyo, mkalbo, or magkacancer. CONCERN aqsayo. Sana ganun ka din sa iba. So please pass."




It made sense so I forwarded the message to my friends. Some replied that they'll pass it along. After sending the message, I went online and read the news about the explosion. Some articles say there was minimal radioactive leakage. The others are simply feeding the people's paranoia.









Technology helps us access information when we need it. However, when disaster comes, we need to rely on the information we already have. When disaster strikes, most likely communication will be down and we all have to hope we are prepared on whatever comes our way without needing to log online.








Japan is more technology advanced than the Philippines. All of their buildings are prepared for high intensity earthquakes. However, neither country is prepared for disasters like tsunamis. Both countries lie on the Pacific Ring of Fire, we all owe ourselves to be prepared.









Visit http://sidlinger.tripod.com/ for survival guides.

Thing I can't live without.

My phone.

I got my Nokia N96 for free from my service provider two years ago and fell in love with it.

Trivia: this is Dexter Morgan's phone in Dexter.

All the pictures I took came from this camera. Maraming naghihintay na ibenta ko tong phone ko, pero mukhang never ko ibebenta. ipapagawa ko lang if ever masira.

GENERAL	2G Network	GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900
	3G Network	HSDPA 900 / 2100
		HSDPA 850 / 1900 - American version
	Announced	2008, February
	Status	Available. Released 2008, September

SIZE	Dimensions	103 x 55 x 18 mm, 92 cc
	Weight	125 g

DISPLAY	Type	TFT, 16M colors
	Size	240 x 320 pixels, 2.8 inches
		- Accelerometer sensor for auto-rotate

SOUND	Alert types	Vibration, MP3, WAV ringtones
	Loudspeaker	Yes
	3.5mm jack	Yes, check quality

MEMORY	Phonebook	Practically unlimited entries and fields, Photocall
	Call records	Detailed, max 30 days
	Internal	16 GB storage, 128 MB RAM
	Card slot	microSD, up to 32GB, buy memory

DATA	GPRS	Class 32, 107 / 64.2 kbps
	EDGE	Class 32, 296 kbps; DTM Class 11, 177 kbps
	3G	HSDPA, 3.6 Mbps
	WLAN	Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g, UPnP technology
	Bluetooth	Yes, v2.0 with A2DP
	Infrared port	No
	USB	Yes, v2.0 microUSB

CAMERA	Primary	5 MP, 2592x1944 pixels, Carl Zeiss optics, autofocus, LED flash
	Video	Yes, VGA@30fps
	Secondary	VGA videocall camera

FEATURES	OS	Symbian OS 9.3, S60 rel. 3.2
	CPU	Dual ARM 9 264 MHz processor
	Messaging	SMS, MMS, Email, Instant Messaging
	Browser	WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML, RSS reader
	Radio	Stereo FM radio with RDS; Visual radio
	Games	Yes, N-gage + downloadable
	Colors	Black, Silver, Quartz
	GPS	Yes, with A-GPS support; Nokia Maps
	Java	Yes, MIDP 2.1
		- DVB-H TV broadcast receiver - Dual slide design - WMV/RV/MP4/3GP video player - MP3/WMA/WAV/RA/AAC/M4A music player - TV-out - Organizer - Document viewer (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, PDF) - Predictive text input - Push to talk  - Voice dial/memo - Kickstand

BATTERY		Standard battery, Li-Ion 950 mAh (BL-5F)
	Stand-by	Up to 220 h (2G) / 192 h (3G)
	Talk time	Up to 3 h 40 min (2G) / 2 h 36 min (3G)
	Music play	Up to 14 h

MISC	SAR US	0.68 W/kg (head)     0.89 W/kg (body)
	SAR EU	0.82 W/kg (head)